I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
