Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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