So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
Randomize
