I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
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