So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Randomize
