Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Randomize
