I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
Nah, I'm just going to keep fucking him until he realizes we're perfect for each other.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
You looked like my 4th grade science fair volcano project when you burped. Told you chugging a 40 would be awesome.
Also when they left they could only find one sock between the two of them. Apparently we're like crazy sock ripping vixens when we bring guys home drunk
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Eye drops are like seatbelts of being high. Think about it
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
I gave him head while despicable me 2 played in the background. I think I disappointed the minions
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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