He is such a slut. More and more my type.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
I lost the right to judge tonight
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Randomize
