Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
Randomize
