Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
bring money and cleavage
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
