he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
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Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
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C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
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