all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please ask me to tell you about the time I watched two of my friends chase my drunk roommate with a broken foot around downtown
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
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