it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
I honestly think she should have her own reality show called "Lowering the Bar" and it consists of a camera crew following her from Bar to bar hooking up with unsuspecting drunk attractive men.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Randomize
