would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
ugly people sure do ruin things
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Randomize
