Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Randomize
