No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
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She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
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The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die