Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(540): View more from Virginia

The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace

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(618): View more from Illinois

You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes

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(443): View more from Maryland

You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.

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(360): View more from Washington

This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.

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27 Unforgettable Hookup Texts
Read it at the TFLN blog
(402): View more from Nebraska

At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.

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(914): View more from New York

Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck

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(804): View more from Virginia

I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.

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(650): View more from California

He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.

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(707): View more from California

Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.

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