Texts From Last Night

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  (773): View more from Illinois

  My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it

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  (773): My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it http://tfl.nu/4cmd
  Replies (3) Good night (635) Bad night (864)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Eric got herpes from Jo-ann

  (914): View more from New York

  That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian

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  (917): Eric got herpes from Jo-ann (914): That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian http://tfl.nu/xico
  Replies (48) Good night (713) Bad night (2733)
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  (971): View more from Oregon

  the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?

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  (971): the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together? http://tfl.nu/xjvt
  Replies (38) Good night (5829) Bad night (1630)
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  (559): View more from California

  I queefed so loud it echoed.

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  (559): I queefed so loud it echoed. http://tfl.nu/ujmt
  Replies (56) Good night (1980) Bad night (10836)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it

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  (423): gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it http://tfl.nu/v9kx
  Replies (9) Good night (4079) Bad night (973)
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  (631): View more from New York

  i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth

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  (631): i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth http://tfl.nu/bjm9
  Replies (16) Good night (936) Bad night (4206)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner

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  (905): It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner http://tfl.nu/bz5d
  Replies (11) Good night (4872) Bad night (1713)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever

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  (303): Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever http://tfl.nu/gvxq
  Replies (21) Good night (10571) Bad night (1950)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong.

  (1-316): View more from Kansas

  Yeah I'm going to bathe him.

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  (316): I woke up and there is a food processor in my purse. Someone else's framed family photo. My front door is wide open and my gerbil is playing in the water bong. (1-316): Yeah I'm going to bathe him. http://tfl.nu/s84m
  Replies (6) Good night (3776) Bad night (852)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding

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  (603): When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding http://tfl.nu/lhu6
  Replies (7) Good night (1596) Bad night (2452)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men

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  (614): she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men http://tfl.nu/vu2o
  Replies (9) Good night (1094) Bad night (2300)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.

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  (614): 2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever. http://tfl.nu/992h
  Replies (15) Good night (2618) Bad night (622)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend?

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  (201): Dude, so the police showed up at my house with my wallet told me they found it in the church fountain then handed me a pamphlet on AA saying it was from the pastor. What happend? http://tfl.nu/zwy0
  Replies (9) Good night (2612) Bad night (551)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.

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  (501): I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk. http://tfl.nu/v5sh
  Replies (4) Good night (767) Bad night (375)
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  (612): View more from Minnesota

  Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants

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  (612): Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants http://tfl.nu/1x5f
  Replies (1) Good night (555) Bad night (440)

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