honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
she's like "i'm so proud of u" ... and then i threw up on myself
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
Haha never eat brownies from a guy with batman pajamas
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
