Texts From Last Night

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  (337): View more from Louisiana

  summer is not the time to consider going full bush.

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  (337): summer is not the time to consider going full bush. http://tfl.nu/4smx
  Replies (71) Good night (653) Bad night (3828)
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  (440): View more from Ohio

  Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day

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  (440): Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day http://tfl.nu/1jo6
  Replies (74) Good night (3733) Bad night (888)
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  (530): View more from California

  the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo

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  (530): the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo http://tfl.nu/dqpo
  Replies (25) Good night (10561) Bad night (1193)
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  (718): View more from New York

  you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...

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  (718): you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water... http://tfl.nu/djs2
  Replies (43) Good night (1469) Bad night (6530)
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  (213): View more from California

  I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.

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  (213): I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on. http://tfl.nu/rma0
  Replies (21) Good night (6323) Bad night (1464)
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  (434): View more from Virginia

  NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.

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  (434): NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup. http://tfl.nu/qouj
  Replies (20) Good night (6730) Bad night (1196)
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  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.

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  (402): Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year. http://tfl.nu/x76y
  Replies (18) Good night (3663) Bad night (892)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes?

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  (815): Soooo how am i supposed to explain to my mom that i was admitted to the hospital but you kidnapped me within 20 minutes? http://tfl.nu/tg6b
  Replies (6) Good night (2468) Bad night (818)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.

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  (217): While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month. http://tfl.nu/gp1m
  Replies (19) Good night (854) Bad night (4440)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight

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  (207): She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight http://tfl.nu/6sqo
  Replies (17) Good night (3027) Bad night (881)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.

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  (541): I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night. http://tfl.nu/6kn4
  Replies (6) Good night (592) Bad night (868)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.

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  (425): Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it. http://tfl.nu/epgz
  Replies (2) Good night (823) Bad night (1219)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja

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  (973): She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja http://tfl.nu/0g6m
  Replies (9) Good night (1513) Bad night (625)
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  (901): View more from Tennessee

  This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.

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  (901): This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend. http://tfl.nu/m2hu
  Replies (11) Good night (3392) Bad night (502)
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  (817): View more from Texas

  Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing

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  (817): Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing http://tfl.nu/0z5g
  Replies (9) Good night (804) Bad night (460)

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