I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
