ya dads aren't the best wingmen
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
