honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize