guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
