i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
