love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
So many Oreos I'm regretting this decision already but I'm happy at the same time...The straddle is real
Struggle. Not straddle. I'm not straddling anyone.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
