Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I think i can hear god laughing at me and yelling "thou shall pay for thy habits of underage drinking" through a megaphone directly at my eardrums
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
He called out my ex's name during sex.
Alex is a pretty common unisex name.
It was the same Alex. I asked.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Randomize
