Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
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