Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
No. Way more drunk than the night I put a snowball in my purse "for later" and woke up to find everything soaking the next day.
But less drunk than the day that Pete took four of your birth control pills thinking they were Advil, right?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
Randomize
