I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
Then you guys just all showered together...?
I have peed in a lot of sinks
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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