Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
