She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Can you come unlock the door? I just peed myself on the porch.
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