The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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