Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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