Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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