You made me cry and you don't even care
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I cant believe that bitch gave me herpes. she said those bumps were just a part of the natural landscape
wait, did she really refer to her vagina as a landscape?
why are you more concerned about her word choice than the fact that I HAVE FUCKING HERPES
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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