Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Randomize
