Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Randomize
