can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
