I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Kristen just told everyone at the bar that I've got a huge dick, now Brittany is giving me the eye. What is the opposite of FML?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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