I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
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