This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
doing shots of $6 a bottle whiskey and chasing it with milk. my own personal way of saying fuck life.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
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