he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
Houston, we have a blender
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
Randomize
