Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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