whats a polygalesbian?
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck