what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
