I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
25 Shocking High School Scandals You Won’t Believe Are True
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Guy Shares All The ‘New Discoveries’ He’s Made Since Moving In With His Girlfriend And It’s Hilariously Relatable
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.