Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.