how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
