thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I smell stomach acid.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
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If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Couch. On fire.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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