You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Don't remember our skype call last night too well, but did I pee while skyping you?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
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