Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
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