He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Well that's very sweet of you. I have a strange feeling you're going to regret this when you sober up.
NO REGRETS FUCK DA POLICE
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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