i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
