Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
most of the afternoon was spent sneaking around my house and alternating which bathrrom to throw up in.
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
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