Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
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