you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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