well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize