I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Dude, somewhere around here makes 4loko slushies. I just decided coming home isn't so bad.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
Randomize
