It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
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