The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
you know I love you but I need to see your friends tits
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
Randomize
