So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Just saw a white bronco on my way home from work and the license plate said "NOT OJ"
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
