based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
All I need is a morbidly obese man masturbating at the other end of the car and I'll complete the CTA Horror Trifecta.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Randomize
