You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Randomize
