Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
