Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
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