He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
