16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
I wish the guy in the stall next to me would stop moaning while taking a dump.
I wish you'd stop texting me from the toilet.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
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