I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize