So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
Randomize
