you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
