I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
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